I've found so far that one thing consistently helps: when I am not in alignment and nothing feels right, I must take time to let sadness come to the surface. Most often, my "off" frustration gives way to a great, heavy, and terrible distress. It needs to be brought out fully. Today I created a playlist "sadisfaction," of sad songs, or ones that bring out sadness in me. Weeping, sobbing, letting hopelessness engulf; feeling inescapable and eternal. Every single worry, burden, outcry, impossibility, outrage, instead of being pushed away to keep sanity, is drawn forth. It is a very difficult sickness. Today I was able to know it was over by a meditative Shaman drum beat.
This is the only way I have been consistently able to heal, feel cleansed out inside, genuinely better.
It is the decisiveness of giving direct attention to and acknowledgement of something I can feel the effects of, but which is all too easy to ignore whilst going numbly on, feeling badly.
http://youtu.be/p_WyCOGZjbM
(domani gia qui ~ tomorrow is already here)
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